Yes, indeed. I can see. Without glasses. For the first time in almost 18 years. It is really trippy, to be honest. I feel kinda naked without my glasses, but fortunately, I get to wear these pimp sunglasses (or "solarshields" as the LASIK folks call them) for the next few days. I have an appointment later today to make sure all is kosher with my corneas.
The LASIK procedure was painless, except for the sinking feeling that I was experiencing an alien brain removal on a padded table, while being forced to stare at this blinky orange light. The famous Dr. Whitten kept saying things like "You're doing great. Focus on the light. (Sounds of an electronic blade whirring in the background) Now, the light will disappear for a second. Now, the light will be blurry. Good. Good. Doing great. (Sounds of a laser melting my corneas, complete with the smell of burning tissue) Now, the light will be clearer. OK, almost done. (I can see a tiny spatula smoothing out my corneal flap). OK, next eye." Repeat.
Granted, the whole thing took like, 4 minutes, but holy, holy, holy. Thank gawd for the Valium. And the squishy stress ball that I was kneading in my right hand.
The only part that sucked was that the numbing eye drops wore off after thirty minutes, as my mom & I were approaching the Soufside. And, I became instantly miserable. So, I swallowed the Tylenol PM, smoked a square, taped the hard plastic eye patches to my face & pounced into bed. Apparently, the most painful part of LASIK is the 6 hours following the procedure. They highly recommend sleeping during this phase. So, I did. Then, you're fine. Perfectly fine. But, I did wake up about 3 hours into my nap. And I made the huge mistake of briefly opening my eyes. For a nanosecond. AND IT KILLED. Imagine a burning, aching, gravel-in-your-eyes sensation. So, I shut them, but the burning continued. So I slept some more. And I can see.
So, to all you nay-sayers out there...I can see. Time will only tell if this is just a passing sensation.
New wardrobe of sunglasses, here I come!
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Ancedotes from a young attorney trying to make it work in the Steel City
1 comment:
Nice, Dice! But we're gonna miss your funky specs. you sure are a hoot to behold. I guess you can get funky shades. Gooo....aviators! That's hot right now. But definitely not those huge-windshield type monstrosities dotting the faces of the olson twins/nicole ritchie/famous for being famous types. Pee.UKE. See you on the Soufside.
Douche down the street.
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