My Perfect Job, As Imagined

OK, this is a BIG "what-if", but...

This January, I had lunch with a Professor to brainstorm about enviro law non-profit job opportunities/ideas/whatev. Over huevos rancheros, Silverfox joked that if I could come up with my own salary, LITERALLY PAY MYSELF TO WORK THERE, he would hire me at PF. Like, get myself a grant or "ask Daddy to pay your salary." Um, WHAT? A little insulting, I must say. But this was all in jest. He was just trying to lighten what seemed to be an extremely bleek situation; there are so few prospsects for a fresh, young enviro law grad who wants to remain in her beloved P-burgh. (Gawd, I just used the 3rd person in referring to myself.) And practice enviro law, or any type of law at all, for that matter.

Here's the "what-if?" portion of the idea...that's if you're being pessimistic, though.

I'll do better than pay my own measly salary to work at PF.

I WILL WIN POWERBALL.

Then, I will buy King's Court across from the Barco & turn it into a HUMONGOUS Legal Clinic! I will buy some sweet new technology so that we can keep up with the resources of big firms and represent even more pro se litigants. I will provide salaries for staff attorneys for each clinic so that we can really get some work done. And then, I will buy some great professors to work in it! It will be the smoothest, pimpist law school clinic on the planet. Trust me.

And, of course, I will have a job there, too. As a "good-side-of-the-lawsuit" enviro hippie gansta attorney. And I will pay my own salary. Hooray.

Don't worry, though. Seymour will get his comeuppance once the whole Powerball thing comes through in the form of some sweet mountain woods.

So, there. That's my plan.
Happy Holidays!

This Weather Rocks!

If I could experience intermittent lightning/thunderstorms every night throughout the spring & summer, life would be perfect. It would be a nice warm day, followed by a refreshing evening storm to rinse away afternoon.

Well, maybe eventually I would begin to take it for granted. Begin to forget how cool it is. Like a sunrise or sunset. Or like the people who live in places where you can see the Aurora Borealis.

It's probably better this way. Yeah, it's good that thunderstorms only happen now & again.

Nice work, weather patterns.

Big Weave Plus One (More)

Last night, I attended my first ever "Boot Camp" at Naka Fitness. Basically, this amounted to 2 hours of heart-pounding hip hop aerobics, supplemented with tons of abs & weights. Suffice it to say that I am really sore this morning. But, the most important news of the night was that Weave ran out of the class at 8:30pm (after class, but before stretching) to go to the hospital because his wife was having a baby! GO BIG WEAVE! Procreate! Good job!

Weave, you are such an amazing person & asset to this town. You are a great father, teacher & role model. I am so happy that you are having another kid, cause that means that there will be another kickass dancer in the Burgh. And that kid will have a father who we all adore.

Congrats!

T.C. + IC Light = Happy Days

If you aren't familiar with T.C., then you are not a Pittsburgh sports fan. Or, you simply have never been to a Steelers, Pirates or Penguins game. No matter. Just watch this slideshow from the PP-G about my favorite vendor on Opening Day 2006.

Editor's Note: Call it a coincidence, but two different people emailed me this link today. They used to be married to each other. I'll leave the sleuthing to yinz.

Just Call Me "Shit for Brains"

Hi there. Um, today when I posted for the first time in, like, 3 weeks, I tried to be all "oh, sorry I've been too busy to blog." Then, I mumbled (Query: Can you mumble while blogging, since it is really an audible act?) something about procrastination, which was my brain's passive-aggressive way to complain about my seminar paper about how nasty waste coal flyash is for "remediation" of acid mine drainage. ANYHOO, I was not being completely straight with you about why I have not been posting on the Butter.

This is really embarrassing...what's even more embarassing is the fact that I have actually sought help from other bloggers about my "problem with Blogger."

Um, yeah, I forgot what my Blogger username was. Yep. I kept trying to log in as "Diceburgh" instead of "candacestockey." To add to the confusion, every time I logged in as Diceburgh, I existed. Although there was no blog attached to that username, nor was there a complete profile, Diceburgh (with my corresponding password) lived. But not with the Butter. Confused? Me, too.

So, this went on for. like. two. weeks.

Long story short, it occurred to me on the bus yesterday that perhaps I had been using the wrong username. And I was (obviously) correct in my well-overdue hypothesis.

An aside: In this age of multiple online accounts (email(s), school, banking, eBay, NYT, photo services, etc.), how in the hell are we supposed to keep all of our usernames & passwords straight? I only ask because it is considered poor form to always use the same username &/or password. Lordy. My brain is way too overloaded sometimes, I guess. So there. I'm not perfect. Ha!

P.S. Buccos won tonight!! We're 2 and 7, bitches. Watch aht, Cubbies! And T's loverboy, C.Dubs had a homer. Excellent!

Let's Go Bucs!

Sorry for the prolonged absence. Since I am supposed to be writing my seminar paper right now, I am obviously using the Butter as a procrastination device.

I would just like to say that the Pirates are off to a sad start, yet again. 1-7 with an embarassing home opener, yet again. Silly errors & a collective inability to judge how balls will riccochet off the outfield wall. These dudes need some more Spring Training. But, this critique is expected from any devoted fan.

I would like to publicly complain about the Pirates' score cards, which are available for $1.00 at PNC Park. This year, some morons decided to make the entire score card glossy, instead of just the outside. Writing with a little pencil does not work very well on a glossy surface. Further, the eraser removes the carbon, but since you have to press so hard to write on it, the indentations remain after you erase. Thus, I must insist that they stop printing the score cards like that & go back to the old format. OK, it was good to get that off of my chest.

Yesterday was the first official day of spring according to the book of Dice. My own personal federal holiday of sorts. The weather was glorious, the beer was cold and I was surrounded by friendly faces. I suppose making it onto the Jumbo-tron TWICE in one game could be considered to be an accomplishment. Oh, and scaling a 15-foot tall lamp post to steal a humungous yellow balloon without getting arrested could also be seen as a great endeavor. Or just drunken stupidity? Whatever you call it, yesterday rocked! Thanks everyone for blowing off school/work/etc. for some well-deserved celebration.

Now, all we've gotta do is win some freeking games.
Go Buccos!