I've have been pondering the whole Seattle v. P-Burgh matchup for days. It's just not the same as hating Indy & the Manning family or being a hollaback girl when a Denver reporter calls your hometahn "butt-ugly."
Seattle's just waaaay too nice about the whole thing. I would feel kinda bad talkin' the trash I really want to spew. What a moral crisis! But, we all know that Dice really can't stand boys that are waaaay too nice, so it follows that...
Fuck it, here goes:
1. Look, folks, I warned you that you were on notice as to NOT try to rival the Terrible Tahl. And, what did you give away at your little S.B. Pep Rally, I ask? LITTLE WHITE TOWELS. This is exactly the shit I am talking about. White is the color that is commonly utilized to indicate a surrender. As in, "We give up." And I explained this to you last week. WTF, Seattle? I've been a Steelers fan almost as long as your cute little teal & green team has existed. Get with the fucking program here.
2. It's true, the Seabirds have the nicest, phattest, dope airplane in the NFL. Apparently, according to ESPN, "every seat is in First Class." You know, the whole extra room for your legs thing, video screens for every seat, etc. Excellent. And the poor little Steelers had to take a commercial charter flight on U.S. Airways. Shit, even our transportation is more hardcore than Seattle's. At least we didn't have to ride the bus (e.g. Greyhound) all the way to Detroit, as one unenlightened Seattle fan mistakenly believed. * (Duder, it's just an expression...the "Bus" is really Jerome Bettis.)
3. The Seabirds HAVE CHEERLERADERS! This fact, standing alone, almost guarantees a black 'n gold victory. See, e.g. Stees v. Ben-gals; Stees v. Indy.
4. OK, that's enough for today. I'm gonna focus on us.
And for the record, fuck Seattle & it's little ubiquitous Starfucks, too!
(Sorry, Frightened Monkey & Ma Vie, what can I say?)
*The Seattle Times article in which this thought was expressed is no longer available as a free link. Sorry.
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